If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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