do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
