I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
