pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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