So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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