Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize