Having a random hookup so left but love u
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
