i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
