I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
