I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
