Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
