there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
