ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
