when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
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Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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