I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
