Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
