Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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