another moral hangover. fuck.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
where are my eyebrows?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
