Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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