i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
