it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
