did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
