how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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