You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You dont lie about slip and slides
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
