i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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