How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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