i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My ass is underappreciated
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
