508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
