I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
