those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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