Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
