I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
