I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
