They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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