my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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