btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
