It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
