Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
