apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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