Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize