so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
