I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
