OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
