remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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