Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
