whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
