my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
