party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
