if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
