No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
