It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I want a musical about memes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
