so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize