I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
