She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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