I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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