So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
