So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
