If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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