I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
